Communication styles at RCYC – 10/14/22

Thanks for sharing your situations.

Certainly plenty room here for respectful observations from a host of various perspectives – so many thanks for sharing your thoughtful reflections George! As a Pollyanna I want to believe that the climate of insecurity that has the wider community apparently so on edge as to require a Presidential visit today might obviously be a contributing factor but there’s no excuse for incivility – hopefully even if I bump into your boat! Cheers, John Maroney

George, I am glad you brought this up. My guests have also had similar experiences. In addition to the good recommendations you provide, I would encourage every member to refresh themselves on RCYC Policy regarding guests:
3. CONDUCT OF MEMBERS AND GUESTS; MISCELLANEOUS
3.1. Members and Guests
…

3.1.3. Guests: Guests are any invited non-members who are at RCYC, whether it be for racing, exercising a reciprocal, attending an event or joining a member. Guests are to be welcomed at RCYC and treated with courtesy and respect.

Please take particular note of the second sentence in 3.1.3.

“Guests are to be welcomed at RCYC and treated with courtesy and respect.”

I know that our response to COVID has resulted in fewer opportunities to practice positive social behavior. Let’s do our part to assume good intent. Ask the right questions in a welcoming and courteous manner, and get to know our fellow club members.

I look forward to seeing you all and having an opportunity to practice some of George’s recommended introductions.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by brianmoore.

I have been in and around RCYC for many years having grown up at the club before it moved down river to the current location and becoming a member myself many years ago. It has been known as “Fort Knox YC” locally for a long, long, time. It hasn’t been the most welcoming or hospitable club toward guests in Portland or on the West Coast for a long time either. That makes me very sad. It wasn’t always that way. I do remember a very different vibe around the club during my childhood and before joining. I hope that atmosphere will change some day.

In the past 6 months I have spent time at the following Yacht Clubs: North Flathead, Mc Nary, San Diego, Southwestern, Long Beach, Alamitos Bay, Dana Point, Dana West, Pacific Corinthian, Santa Barbara, Richmond, St. Francis, Golden Gate, Encinal, Oakland, Berkeley, Port Townsend, Mazatlan and Vallarta. I’ve been to these clubs either as a guest of a member to go racing, as a guest of the club as a race official or just as a random tourist with no business other than to take a walk and look around. Not at a single one those clubs, where I simply walked onto the grounds and was typically not in the company of a member, was I ever stopped by someone and questioned; maybe I just look like I belong there. Yet, at my home club, where I use a key to access the property, myself and others are often stopped and questioned. It makes no sense to be so aggressively security conscious. In the past 20+ years of “yachting”, with visits to dozens of clubs, I’ve never been stopped anywhere other than at RCYC.

George, I applaud you for posting such a well written post and I hope others around the club will take note. I also empathize with you as it is a difficult and uncomfortable situation. Brian, I have seen you demonstrate policy 3.1.3 toward guests and wish more members would recognize this very simple rule. Some people need to stop worrying that everyone that they don’t recognize is up to nefarious acts and start using a little measure of common sense and common courtesy.

Thanks George for chiming in with your observations. Hopefully it will help us all to be more mindful of our interactions with each other. Certainly everyone should help make the club a friendly and inviting place.

I find this situation sad that some folks don’t have the tact and manners to effectively approach another member about a mutual concern which is club security. That said, regardless of how I was approached, I would respond to another inquiring. My name is Mark Holzmann I joined in 1998. I own Hawkwind on Walk 1 and that’s it. If there was anymore discussion other than friendly. My next comment would be feel free to look me up in the club roster, there’s usually one in the club house or you can call our Cmmdr Loren Beach. As far as guest I tell my guest if asked who they are, tell them your name and your here with member Mark Holzmann

I find this situation sad that some folks don’t have the tact and manners to effectively approach another member about a mutual concern which is club security. That said, regardless of how I was approached, I would respond to another inquiring. My name is Mark Holzmann I joined in 1998. I own Hawkwind on Walk 1 and that’s it. If there was anymore discussion other than friendly. My next comment would be feel freely to look me up in the club roster, there’s usually one in the club house or you can call our Cmmdr Loren Beach. As far as guest I tell my guest if asked who they are, tell them your name and your here with member Mark Holzmann

In my many years of being a teacher, I always had some students whose manners and communication skills were less than desirable. Most of my students were friendly, kind and welcoming to others. I would avoid making broad brush strokes in defining my class, or in this case, RCYC by the actions and comments of a few.

In working for West Marine for 15 years, I never had a single comment about RCYC being a Fort Knox Yacht Club. People that I talked to always had complimentary things to say about RCYC. Maybe Eric and I walk in different circles, but I found his comments to be out of line and offensive.

When meeting someone I am not familiar with at RCYC I always introduce myself and indicate that I have not met them before. If following introductions I find out they are not a member I will ask if they need some help in finding their host. I think during this time of covid, with so many new members and so few opportunities to meet each other, the number of introductory encounters has probably increased.

I recommend that we all work at killing each other with kindness and let our better angels thrive.

Hi George, I was the Member you call out in item #3.

We have had numerous trespassers entering the RCYC property by climbing over the fence, slipping through the gate when it opens to allow vehicles to enter and exit as well as several times where the fence has been cut. The east side of the property by Salty’s is also accessible when the water is low.

When I parked my car I looked up and saw a person by the pond and could only see their head and part of their shoulders due to the angle. There is generally no one up there and not being able to recognize you, I did walk up to the top of the pond to see who was there. As I was able to see that it was a person on a phone call and enjoying the sun with their dog, I said “Hi, I didn’t recognize you”. Not wanting to further interrupt your phone call, I smiled and went about my business at the Club. No confrontation or hostile move on my part.

Please approach this encounter by assuming the best of intention and not other wise. Had you not been on a call, I would have hopefully engaged you with a pleasant conversation by introducing myself and meeting a fellow Member.

It is all of our responsibility to ensure that our property is secure to whatever degree we feel is comfortable by starting with a smile and introduction, not confrontation. Unfortunately we have had way too many occasions when people have failed to honor our requests to not trespass on private property.

I too encourage all Members to be courteous to all Members and their guests.

I too have experienced several unsavory encounters, nearly identical to those George describes. Being a relatively new member, I generally try to brush them off and always assume positive intent. While that is easy enough for me to do, it has on occasion left a poor impression with my guests and, more discouragingly, with my significant other. Even though she isn’t a member, she spends just as much time at The Club as I do, and has even been questioned while participating in work parties. While maintaining the security of the club is certainly of the highest priority, I hope we can weigh the need for austerity against the welcoming, hospitable environment I believe we’re all hoping to create at RCYC.

My practice – should I feel the need to approach a stranger – is to introduce myself first, rather than start the conversation with a cold, impersonal line questioning, and then we can get into the details of what brings us both to The Club. I like the way George put it: the burden of courtesy should sit with the initiator.

Thanks for having the courage to speak out about this, George! Hopefully we can shift some, however small, behaviors and grow a more welcoming, inclusive environment.

Wow. All very thoughtful ideas. We are new members(2021) and our experience has been downright positively friendly. Much better than our experience at at another yacht club down river for a couple years for example.

I think RCYC is unique it’s very makeup. I bet it accounts for the positive and maybe an occasional negative. At every marina we’ve been in someone else has been responsible for security. There has been paid staff responsible for screening strangers. I remember once in Seattle at Elliott Bay Marina (where we had our boat for over 10 years), a group of 6 of us, guys(machinery show) went down to see our boat. Pretty soon here comes a couple of staff wondering how we got through the gate. I guess our vibram soled work boats didn’t quite fit in…LOL.

On the other hand I think the overwhelming possitive side of the ledger somes from the work parties. It’s hard not to remember and recognize the people you have worked with for a few hours.

I like the approach someone else mentioned…start all introductions with something about yourself and I bet the information you want will soon follow.